Artemis' Family Tree
by Sohotthateveryonedied
Summary: Artemis has to write an essay about her family for school and decides to write about the team. Spitfire and the team as family!


I don't own Young Justice.

* * *

Robin wandered into the kitchen at Mount Justice, hoping to the cave gods that M'gann was baking again. He'd spent the majority of his day trying to teach Conner how to play Mario Karts and was beyond exhausted.

His prayers had apparently been answered, as he found M'gann and Artemis both in the kitchen, M'gann making what appeared to be muffins. Yum. Artemis, meanwhile, sat at the kitchen island working on her homework, a frustrated crease between her eyebrows. The rest of the team was there as well. There had been no training or missions that day, so the team had spent most of their time hanging out around the cave for some much deserved relaxation.

Conner, Raquel, and Kaldur all sat on the couches watching Celebrity Hockey, while Zatanna cuddled on the floor with Wolf. Wally stood beside Artemis, absentmindedly playing with her hair in boredom.

Robin walked until he stood next to M'gann, peering into the bowl of muffin batter as she poured in a bag of chocolate chips. "Mmm", he commented. He quickly stuck out a hand and dipped a finger into the raw batter before skipping away out of M'gann's reach as she tried swatting him with her spoon. He licked his finger, grinning happily.

"Robin! You're going to get salmonella that way", she complained, though her smile suggested she didn't mind as much as she claimed.

"I would be honored to get food poisoning from muffins as delicious as these", Robin answered simply, flipping into a handstand just because he could. It was times like these that he really acted his age, rather than the small soldier he was conditioned to be. "Hey, if delicious means tasty, does licious mean gross?", he asked for no one in particular. After a few seconds of pondering he gave up. He would have shrugged, except that was physically impossible at the moment. He walked over to Artemis, tapping her on the shoulder with his shoe. She swatted him away.

"Go find someone else to play with, Boy Wonder. I'm busy."

"Doing what?" Robin began to tip over slightly, so Wally reached over and placed a hand on his shoe, steadying him.

Wally answered for his girlfriend. "She's been working on the same home ec. project for the last half hour", he said. Artemis hit him on the arm lightly.

"Hey, it's a difficult project, Baywatch. Cut me some slack", Artemis defended herself.

Robin returned right side up and lifted himself up to sit on the countertop. He looked over at the assignment curiously. After reading it he looked back at Artemis in confusion. "You call this a hard project? It's literally just describing your family tree, what could be easier than that?"

At this point the others had joined the three in the kitchen, partly out of curiosity and partly because M'gann's first batch of muffins had just finished baking and everyone wanted to have some before Wally no doubt helped himself to them all.

Artemis made sure to grab a muffin, handing one to Wally before answering her younger teammate. "You try writing an essay about a family of assassins and making it seem like a good environment to be raised in. I've been trying to find a way to mention something good about my dad and sister, but that's apparently harder than I thought. And I have to talk about what my family means to me and how I feel about them, neither of which are very easy to answer either."

Zatanna shrugged from where she leaned against the fridge. "So write about us, then."

"Yeah, totally", Wally joined in. "We're your family, too."

Artemis rolled her eyes. "What am I supposed to say, 'These are my seven friends who are also teammates who fight side by side with me in covert ops missions for the Justice League'? Yeah, because that definitely works for a school project."

M'gann shook her head. "You could bend the truth a bit. For example, I already think of you as my sister; just write that I am", she offered.

Robin nodded eagerly. "Same here, I see you as a really annoying sister-in-law", he cackled.

Artemis glared playfully."Oh, yeah? Well I view you as a baby brother who I occasionally feel the need to attack so he knows his place", she laughed. The others joined in, even Robin.

Artemis began jotting down notes in her notebook. "What do I say for descriptions, though? I can't exactly say we hunt down criminals on weekends."

Kaldur spoke up from his stool on Artemis' other side. "Just describe our hobbies. Robin is an acrobat, M'gann bakes, even I do water sports in my free time", he suggested.

Artemis nodded. "That works." She paused and stared at Kaldur thoughtfully "You would be the level-headed big brother who tells us what to do all the time." They all chuckled at that. "And Zatanna is that one little sister who I have slumber parties and do makeovers with."

Zatanna giggled. "That's actually not too far from the truth, I guess. Make sure to include my amazing magic tricks. Say I pull bunnies out of hats!" Artemis cackled and wrote more notes on her fast-growing list.

"And", Raquel added, "Conner is the tough older brother with too much teen angst than he knows what to do with." Artemis nodded in confirmation and wrote it down.

Conner spoke for the first time from where he stood next to Kaldur's stool. "Raquel is the sister who likes to sass everyone and take up all of the hot water in the shower. And Roy is that one cousin who you don't really like but you are always forced to hang out with on Thanksgiving." At that point the eight friends were all laughing hysterically, Robin actually falling off the counter and being saved only by Wally catching him just in time. Artemis wiped a tear from her eye and continued writing.

She looked up at Wally in inspection. "And Wally is like the nerdy guy who I date until he's pretty much a part of the family, coming over whenever he wants and stealing our food like an ape." Wally flicked her head, though he wasn't denying it and neither was anyone else

Artemis bit the end of her pen in thought. "Who would be the parents, though?"

They all thought about it before M'gann snapped her fingers. "Hello, Megan! Red Tornado is the mom", she said. There was a beat of silence before the whole room began cracking up because of course that was 100% true and they all knew it.

Wally breathed deeply, trying to stop the fits of laughter and failing. "And-and Ollie would be your lame dad who takes you to the archery range in your free time. And Batman is the creepy uncle who stands by doorways at parties just staring like a creeper and making everyone feel uncomfortable."

"Don't forget about Wolf and Sphere", Conner pointed out. "They're the family pets", he said, patting Wolf's large head as he spoke.

At this point Artemis had an entire paper filled with more than enough notes to use for her essay. It would be slightly strange, but then again, so are they. She would definitely have to edit a few points to make it seem legit, but so far she had a great outline for describing her fake and at the same time more real than anything family.

...

The next day Artemis handed her essay in to her home ec. teacher. She got an A+.

...

 _MY FAMILY, BY ARTEMIS CROCK_

 _I have an unusually large family whom I love very much. I have three sisters, Megan, Zatanna, and Raquel. Zatanna is the youngest of the four of us. She enjoys animals and performing magic tricks. We are very close and spend time together often. Megan is sweet, further proven by her amazing talent that is baking anything she wants with the utmost perfection. Raquel is sassy and strong, though she always hogs the hot water and occasionally steals the remote._

 _Robin is my youngest brother. He is a small troll who likes to mess with all of us and destroy the English language in any way he can. He is an amazing acrobat, prompting one to question just how powerful the laws of gravity really are. Conner is mature but at the same time more of a baby than all of us in more ways than one. He gets angry very easily, but is a living irony, as I've never seen someone care for animals as much as he cares for Wolf and Sphere, our pets. Kaldur is the calm one, never having a harsh word against anyone or seeming like he can't handle something. He does water sports in his free time, worthy of Atlantis._

 _My mother and father are kind people and good leaders. My mother goes by Red, and my father is Oliver. Ollie takes me to the archery range so we can spend time together on weekends. Occasionally he brings my cousin Roy along, but I more or less spend the majority of the time trying to fatally wound him with my crossbow. Uncle B is strange and dark, but he cares, even if he is too emotionally withdrawn to show it. My boyfriend is Wally, and even if he is not related to me, he spends so much time raiding our fridge and inviting himself over pretty much whenever he wants, he is practically family as well._

 _My family is large, hectic, and more often than not irritating beyond belief. However, I would do anything for any of them in a second, because families always have each other's backs. In my family we are practically a team, one that is all for one and one for all to the end of the line._


End file.
